


Doesn't the night look lonely?

by Monmonjimae



Series: Smokes and Constants [1]
Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Haruno Sakura Deserves Better, Haruno Sakura Has Issues, Mental Instability, Minor Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sasuke is an ass, Trauma, help this smol bean, kakashi is disapointed, sakura has a sister, tsunade is pissed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-17 13:44:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21055385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monmonjimae/pseuds/Monmonjimae
Summary: Sakura hates summer for two reasons and two reasons alone.“My family loved summer, they loved it so much they died by it. I loved summer so I too will die like my loved ones before me.”OrSakura is a traumatised teen that doesn't get the support she needs, this is what happens.





	Doesn't the night look lonely?

**Author's Note:**

> Just a slight warning, there is character death in this fic, readers beware.  
Also constructive critisism is welcomed and encouraged.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING:  
I forgot to add this in before but THIS WILL INCLUDE SLIGHT DESCRIPTIONS OF SUICIDE, INCUDING MENTIONS OF THE ACT ITSELF. If you are not in a good mental state and know this will be triggering, please don't read this.

It was summer again.

Sakura hates the summer for two reasons and two reasons alone. The summer sun made her sweaty and sticky, she would have to peel the sweaty pink strands off her forehead, wipe at her nose and eyes to keep the sweat at bay and remember to pay the crippling electricity bill.

She used to like summer as a child, because it was the season when her papa came home, it was the season she spent with her family over cool drinks and shaved ice, it was the season she met Ino. The bright bright girl that lit up her world.

If Ino was her sun then Kokai was the stars. 

Ino lit up her world but Ino will always leave, the sun never stays in one place, it flies about rotating the earth, never concentrating on one continent for a long time. Ino was the sun but too much heat caused droughts, droughts caused famines and famine kills. 

Kokai was the stars, not always visible but was always there.

Kokai was the stars that filled up the lonely night sky, Kokai was the stars outshined by the sun and long forgotten by the earth. Kokai was the stars who comforted Sakura on late tear-stained nights, she was the stars that blinked down in understanding, smiled in encouragement and cried at her pain. The stars never judged and never left, a constant in many lives left to be outshined by bigger, brighter stars.

Sasuke’s smile was big and bright. It made Sakura feel warm and safe like her mama, mama was big and mama was bright. But mama didn’t smell like campfires and roasted tomatoes, Sasuke did. Sasuke drew her in because she was a moth and he was the light, but she got too close and the campfire _burned_. The fire had no mercy or care for the insignificant moth it burned, because all it needed was wind and wood, all the moth could be good for would be to carry another flame. It didn’t care that the moth burned, all that mattered was the flame feasting on it’s host’s body. 

If Sasuke was the fire then Kokai was the water.

Kokai was the water Sakura flew to as her wings _burned_, turned to ash and crippling her. Kokai was water that crushed the flamed eating away at the moth, soothed the burns and washed her ashore. Because the water knew any longer and the moth would have _drowned_.

Sakura is a human and the world is about to burn.

The fourth Shinobi war produced tears, pollution and death. It crushed hope and drank chakra like they were blood bags, sobbing, pleading, _begging_ blood bags. 

Sakura was bred to be a front line fighter. Her breed didn’t come from generations of selective breeding, didn’t come from whispered jutsus passed from parent to child, didn’t come from a special companion paired from birth. Sakura was one of the many bred from blood, sweat and tears, she was the kind bred from knee transplants busted because she trained till she dropped, the kind bred from washing shaking, _trembling_ blood soaked hands because no matter how much she scrubbed it _wouldn’t come off_. 

If the war was the smoke then Sakura couldn’t fight it, every time she tries it warps around her arms, mocking her, hung around her like a tightened noose, because what good was a shinobi _who couldn’t land a hit_? 

If the war was the smoke then Sakura couldn’t see past it, couldn’t catch a glimpse at the stars that twinkled out of sight, couldn’t see through the muddled smog to reach the water she so desperately needed and Sakura _hated_.

Then one day the smoke cleared, Sakura was happy because now she could gaze at the stars and play in the water. 

But there was no stars, no water. 

Any last remaining drops of water was pulled out and used to form dragons and tigers, the dirt dried and cracked and broke and_ Sakura broke with it_.

But the war was over and she was supposed to celebrate, but how can she celebrate when the stars were gone? How can she celebrate when there’s no water left to drink? How can she celebrate when all she has is two graves and a body bag? 

So the little moth flew to the sun because the sun was big, bright and warm. Because the sun was there once so it should be here again. 

She couldn’t find the sun. 

The sun had more things to take care of, things that were more _important_ than her. Like the little boy down the street who lost his house and parents and an _entire branch_ of the family tree, like the old man that used to run a udon store whose store was crushed and his _new born with it_.

So the little moth flew to the fire, because the fire was big, bright and warm and it never moves. She was right about one thing and one thing alone, the fire was big but it was cold and sneering and _angry_. 

“How_ dare_ you.” the fire sneered, now a bonfire in it’s rage, “ How _ dare_ you whine your sob story when others have lost villages, how _ dare_ you cry when you’ve lost only three in five years and I’ve lost _thousands _in a night.”

The moth was scared and it tried to explain, but all the fire heard was selfish, pampered and _annoying_, so it left the moth to rot after it took her heart. But the moth was a resilient little thing and grew another, now it had no mouth and could only smile.

It happened like this.

She married the flame that took her heart, and bore him a child with the same eyes and hair. The flame was never home so her child would whine, other children had their papa so where was hers? Why it must have been her mom that drove him away, her teacher told her so it must be true. 

When the child’s birthday came Sakura asked what she would like,

“Maybe a father would be nice.”

So the lonely mother begged and begged, sending letters filled with top quality kunai and bribed him home with the promise of medical treatment. 

He never came, so her child ripped her hat, threw her cake on the floor and _screamed_.

That night the moth looked to the empty night sky, touched her charred wings and wondered where it all went wrong. Then she looked down and cried, because there on the ground sat a heart shaped pendant half buried in mud. With trembling hands she pried it open, it _screeched _with rust and out fell a faded photo.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

The next morning her child would wake up without her mother’s calls or cooking, she didn’t think much of it and ate out.

Three days later Ino dropped by wanting to catch up with her old friend, the moth’s daughter told the sun her mom was on a mission and left it at that.

A week later a medical staff appeared at the door and asked for Sakura, who hasn’t shown up to work for the past week, they received the same answer and passed her lack of notice as forgetfulness. 

Three weeks passed and a scout team was dispatched to find Sakura Haruno, the investigation would last two days until the body of Sakura Haruno was discovered on the abandoned Haruno residence. It was reported that her decomposing body displayed a wide cut at the jugular and no signs of struggle, likely a victim of suicide. Her weapon of suicide was found pressed against her stomach, a short sword with the intials H.K etched onto the handle. 

In her last moments Sakura Haruno bled out in front of her family's grave, clutching onto a photo stained with so much blood it was unreadable, one hand outstretched to the grave of Kokai Haruno, first born of Mebuki and Kizashi, a victim of the fourth shinobi war. 

Sakura Haruno died smiling, like her parents before her and her sister as well.

A note was found in her pocket,

_“My family loved summer, they loved it so much they died by it. I loved summer so I too will die like my loved ones before me.”_

Her funeral was held a week later, attended by people who she never truly spoke to. 

Her genin teacher,

Teacher of the medical arts,

Teammates,

Her daughter,

Her Sun,

And no husband.

On that day many weeped for a life lost, names were cursed and a body buried.

On that night four stars shone bright in the lonely night sky, and if you listened closely, the laughters of a child could be heard.

-end-

**Author's Note:**

> So how was it? This is my first work here so any feed back is apreciated, thanks!
> 
> American suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255.


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